The Defining Decade

April 16, 2012
The professional and personal angst of directionless twentysomethings is given a voice and some sober counsel in this engaging guide. Drawing on research and case studies from her clinical psychology practice, first-time author Jay shows how the decisions we make in our twenties radically affect the rest of our lives. Jay's twentysomething clients are well-educated, yet they lack focus and resist making decisions about love, work, family, and the future. Jay blames popular culture, the media, other researchers, and parents for spreading the idea that the twenties are a time for free exploration, not settling down. In clear but occasionally alarmist prose (e.g., "It would be reckless for us to focus on Kate's past when I knew her future was in danger"), Jay warns that lack of direction in one's 20s leads to cramming major life experiences (graduate school, marriage, children, professional success) into one's 30s. Stressed, over-burdened thirtysomethings end up in Jay's office, regretting their previous decade of deferring serious relationships, career-building jobs, and other life-defining events. While Jay maintains that facing difficulties in one's 20s "is a jarringâbut efficient and often necessaryâway to grow," the author is sincere and sympathetic, making this well-researched mix of generational sociology, psychotherapy, career counseling, and relationship advice a practical treatise for a much-maligned demographic.

March 1, 2012
A clinical psychologist issues a four-alarm call for the 50 million 20-somethings in America, "most of whom are living with a staggering, unprecedented amount of uncertainty." Hooking up, hanging out and generally holding off adulthood seemed like a viable option to the many damaged, distraught and depressed 20-somethings who found themselves desperate for help inside the author's office in Charlottesville, Va. Here Jay artfully coalesces much of her in-office therapy sessions into three easily accessible yet provocative sections: "Work" sets a reasonable timeline on career goals, "Love" puts Cupid on the clock and "The Brain and the Body" provides physiological reasons why it's so important to seize the day. Real-life stories (and some composites) from Jay's practice aid in convincing, cajoling and maybe even conniving 20-somethings into realizing that there is no time to kill, and that what happens between the teen years and age 30 matters a lot. If nothing else, it's just harder to do everything later on. The warning, at times almost shrill, is probably justified given the stakes and often-clueless individuals who need motivation. For all those still looking up the hill at 30 (and even those standing on that hill), Jay provides indispensable life coaching. Forget all the balderdash about "30 being the new 20," the author writes; time still waits for no man, or woman: "There are no guarantees. So claim your adulthood. Be intentional. Get to work. Pick your family. Do the math. Make your own certainty. Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do." A cogent argument for growing up and a handy guidebook on how to get there.

COPYRIGHT(2012) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

May 15, 2012

In a lifespan development study undertaken by Boston University and the University of Michigan, researchers found that the years that most determined their subjects' futures were their twenties. Jay (clinical psychology, Univ. of Virginia) uses that research as well as case studies of her clients to advise readers in their early adulthood on matters of work, community, cohabitation, starting a family, and more. She presents common situations confronted by many young people and offers a number of options as well as the likely consequences of each decision. VERDICT Excellently written, this book is sensitive to the emotional life of twentysomethings.

Copyright 2012 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.